Friends and countrymen, it seems as though I have uncovered the greatest truth since perhaps the proof that our savior, Donald K. Knotts is a direct decendent of the Christ bloodline. I have stumbled upon a sinister organization hellbent maybe on destroying our way of life. As far as i can accertain they are only know as “Them” and led by this man:
Jim Bissel working from his shadowy liar at the best western business center
So far I have been able to, through a series of admittedly loose threads, tie Mr. Bissel to the following:
i personally blame jimmy for the following
1. my career not taking off
2. the death of hangar
3. the kennedy assassinations (4 in total)
4. 9/11
5. Massachussetts
6. Moonlighting getting cancelled
7. the fall of the Berlin wall
8. The illuminati not being more mainstream
9. Puerto Ricans
10. Hillary Swank
he is also guilty of not knowing, not showing, or not caring about what goes on in the ‘hood.
And he certainly doesn’t think about the lil’ duns
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